We've started potty training, and it's something. I feel like the process is really challenging every one of my basic instincts -- I'm trying to stay laid back, supportive rather than directive, non-bothered by accidents. It's hard to do those things for a little while, but it's REALLY hard to do those things 10 hours a day. And it's only day 2. So when I reflect on how these two days have made me feel, it's clear that the older I've gotten, and more responsibility I've taken on, the more 'in control' of things I've become. I wouldn't have described my self as controlling, but with a child, it's changed me a bit. Today my prayer is about these traits I'm seeing in myself, and how they may impact and mold Caroline. God I don't want her to be highly-strung, I don't want her to feel a need to have control of things, I don't want her to worry. I want her to be relaxed, I want her to be able to go with the flow, I want her to ride on top of the waves and not get drug down by the current in life. Please show me how to be those things; relaxed, flexible, on top of the water. I know that the easiest way to influence who Caroline becomes is to pray about it, and also to be a model of the behaviors I want to see in her. So please help me do that, and please work within her to give her motivation and drive, but also a relaxed spirit that's able to flex with the changes in life.
Thank you for my girl, who just doesn't seem like a baby at all any more, and thank you for the days we get to spend together.